The Legend of Paz
by Marky-Mark7
Summary: A terrifying, geometric man rules Hyrule. The Ocarina of Time is being played by a brunette. A hyperactive fairy is loose. Wait. Geometric? Brunette? Hyperactive? Yes! It's the story you've all been waiting for: a LoZ/GF crossover! A video game playthrough with a cartoonish recasting! Get your pine tree caps and strap on your replica swords as I recount to you; The Legend of Paz.
1. Prelude

Hey, guys! Sorry I haven't posted in awhile. Here, have something different! Inspired by some fanart I saw on tumblr.

* * *

Prelude

"In these vast, several trees of Hyrule Forest…

"Long have I served as the guardian spirit…"

A large tree, as tall as a castle, looms into view.

"I am known as the Great Deku Trembley…"

Away, over a grassy knoll, a village of tree-houses can be seen. Small children decked out in green garb run hither and thither, playing in the fields and tree stumps.

"The Children of the forest, the Kokiri, live here with me. Each Kokiri has his or her own guardian fairy."

The scene changes again. Inside a dark house, a sparsely decorated house, lies a small, lonely boy. As we watch, he quivers in his sleep, perhaps having another nightmare of events to come.

"However, there is one boy who does not have a fairy…"

* * *

So, this idea popped into my head many months ago and I started something with it. Then I stopped. Now I'm thinking about it again. A Gravity Falls LoZ OoT!AU. Or, a LoZ OoT (Legend of Zelda Ocarina of Time) Gravity Falls!cast.

I have most of the characters correlated by personality or visual similarity, and some of the items will make appearances, but I'm still open to ideas.

Additionally, I'm not too sure about how I've written the first chapter (not this, the prelude, but The REAL first chapter) yet. You see, I'm a veteran OoT player. I have thee N64 game and console and the remake for the 3DS. So I've typed the first and second chapters scene-by-scene, almost word-for-word. Some of the dialogue doesn't make real-life sense, so I've tweaked it just a tad, but it's pretty much a copy-and-paste of the video game with GF characters.

I think what I'll do is post it and see what you guys think. If it's too long/wordy for you, I might delete the chapter, edit some of the too-obvious or easy-to-follow bits out, then repost the cropped version, and modify my writing of the next chapters from there.

I've only got two (and part of a third) chapters completely written, because I'm kind of writing AS I play through a file of the game in question.

I can't promise quick updates on this, and I have no idea how popular this idea will be (it must be something of a good idea to have it's own fanart). But if you like it, please read & review and tell me your thoughts. It might inspire me to write faster! :D


	2. Chapter 1

In the true spirit of the first-player mode of the Legend of Zelda games, Dipper won't actually have any speaking parts. But it's hard to relate to a character you get no feedback from, so his thoughts will be italicized.

* * *

The Summons

"Ma'be… Ma'be, where art thou? Come hither…"

A small, magenta-coloured fairy left the surrounding meadow and zipped up to hover in front of the Great Deku Trembley. Wherever she flew, a rainbow trail followed behind her. It is impossible to hover and be completely still,* but even if it were possible, this particular fairy would bounce around anyway, such is her perpetual effervescence.

"Ah, Ma'be the fairy. Listen to my words, the words of the GREAT DEKU TREMBLEY!..."

The fairy looked up at the massive tree in confusion.

"Dost thou sense it? The climate of evil descending upon this realm. Malevolent forces even now are mustering to attack our land of Hyrule. For so long, the Kokiri Forest, the source of life, has stood as a barrier, deterring outsiders and maintaining the order of the world. But… Before this tremendous evil, even my power is as nothing.

"It seems the time has come for the boy without a fairy to begin his journey. The youth whose destiny it is to lead Hyrule to the path of justice and truth. Ma'be, go now! Find our young friend and guide him to me… I don't have much time left. Fly, Ma'be, fly! The fate of the forest, nay, the world, depends upon thee!"

With that, Ma'be flew off at mach 3, eager to start this boy's adventure, as well as her own.

* * *

She exited a narrow path and came into the village area from before. There was a thick, immutable cloud cover in the skies above. As she flew around, Ma'be questioned several children and their fairies about the fairy-less boy. After a few minutes of aimlessly scanning faces and houses, Ma'be spied one treehouse that was different from all the others- it had a ladder. It seemed likely, so she nodded in determination and flew towards it. It, and coincidentally, a fence.

 **Bop!**

"Oof!"

The collision with the fence did nothing to deter her. She shook off her surprise and shot through a hole, and up to the house entrance.

Inside was dark and gloomy. Nothing stood out in particular as having sentimental value. At the far end of the room, an emerald lump of cloth rose and fell with deep, measured breaths.

"Hello… Hey!

"Hellooo, Dipper! Wake up! The Great Deku Trembley wants to talk to you! Come on, sleepy head, get up!"

The lump grumbled and shifted position.

"Come on! Come ooooonnn! Comeoncomeoncomeoncomeoncomeon! Can Hyrule's destiny really depend on such a lazy boy? I bet you don't even change your tunic until someone tells you to!"

At last, the lump righted itself to reveal a boy of about 12, with a tousled mop of brown hair.

 _Ugh, what is this pest?_

"FINALLY you wake up! Hi! I'm Ma'be the fairy. (But you can call me Mabel, if you want. I've always wanted a human name!) The Great Deku Trembley asked me to be your partner. From now on, we'll be closer than family. We'll be like twinsies! Nice to meet you! Anyway, the Great Deku Trembley summoned you. So let's go! Move it, Dipper!"

 _The Great Deku Trembley? What does he want to see me for? This seems mysterious…_

Dipper got off his bed, walked around the central stump, picked up a rucksack without stopping, and headed out the doorway. But he stopped, leaned back inside the doorway and, from a hat rack on the jamb, grabbed a bluish-green nightcap, and fit it snugly on his head.

Once outside, a mellow but cheerful voice could be heard calling from the distance.

"Yahoo! Hey Dipper!" A redheaded Kokiri was running to Dipper's house, waving.

 _Wendy!_

Dipper blushed and waved back before starting down the ladder. He fumbled in his haste and dropped the last four feet onto his head. He grunted and brushed the dirt off his tunic.

 _Smooth. Real smooth, Dipper._

"Whoa. Dude, you got a fairy! Finally! I'm happy for you, man. Now you're a true Kokiri." Wendy said.

Dipper nodded.

"…"

"Hm. So the Great Deku Trembley summoned you, eh? That's some serious honour biz, dude! Go on and talk to him! Tell me about it later. I'll be waiting!"

Dipper ran off to go see the tree elder. In the wrong direction.

"Hey! The Great Deku Trembley is over this way. Follow me!"

Ma'be (Mabel, he corrected himself) flew in the opposite direction. She led the way to a path blocked by a very moody-looking Kokiri.

"Hey, you! "Mr. No-Fairy-No-Friends!""

 _Oh great… Robbie._

"What's your deal with the great Deku Trembley? With no fairy, you're not welcome here!"

"Ahem." Mabel introduced herself.

"What?! You've got a fairy?! Since when? What does the great Deku Trembley want with you anyway? Why would he want to talk to you and not me? The Great Robbie? This is bunk… I don't believe it! You don't even have the right stuff yet! How are gonna help the great Deku Trembley without a sword and shield?"

"…"

"Huh?"

"…"

"What? I mean- so what if I don't them either? That's not the point! If you wanna pass me, you gotta have a sword and shield! Sheesh!"

Dipper left the uncouth Robbie in disgruntlement. I mean, he wasn't wrong: a sword and shield are important in battle. Did the Great Deku Trembley want him to fight? Where was he supposed to get these things anyway? A shield could be bought at the general store (40 rupees Ŕ)*, but swords were hard to come by in a forest: no metal or fiery forges. Whatever…

Dipper spent an hour walking around the forest clearing, picking through grass, over-turning rocks, fishing around in the shallow ponds, anything he could do to accumulate enough rupees for a shield from the shop.

He was even able to sneak into Robbie's house and found three unopened chests with rupees! And one with a little cloth heart with stitches sewn across it.

… _Better leave that one in there. Too personal._ But anyway, if Robbie was so deadest on Dipper having proper equipment, then the least he could do is fund the shield. That left Dipper with Ŕ36. Almost there.

Across from Robbie's house was a rise with another house and a small fence maze on top. It wasn't really a maze. Someone just decided to put fence posts inside a grassy area that was already fenced-in. it wasn't difficult to find your way around or anything.

Dipper wandered over. The fences were old, pretty cheaply-made. And short enough that anyone could hop over them. Which Dipper did now.

At the end of the 'maze' was a small crawlspace.

 _Hm. Maybe there'll be rupees wherever that leads?_

Dipper got down on all fours and crawled through. On the other side were a few stone walls and some grass. And…

 _What's that rumbling sound?_

"Look out!" screamed Mabel.

Around the corner came a large boulder. Dipper didn't wait around for it. He bolted around the other corner. Then another. And another. It seemed like he was going around in circles. Then, out of the corner of his eye, he saw a secluded area with a plinth and a large chest on it.

He dove for the small area out of the path of the bolder.

 _Phew._

As the boulder rolled away, Dipper inspected the large chest. It was wood. It had iron hinges. It was your ordinary large chest.

It wasn't locked.

Dipper opened it. It was pretty deep, and he had to bend over the side of the chest to retrieve what was inside it. However, when he extricated himself from the box, in his hands he held…

A sword! It was small, with a little green gem on the hilt, but it was balanced nicely. Perfect for a boy his age to wield!

 _Well, I could just… borrow it. Yeah. I'll bring I back when I'm older and I've gotten a man's sword!_

Now he just had to get past the unremitting roll-rock. If he timed it just right…

He darted out and around the corner before the boulder could turn him into a dip-cake.

Back through the crawlspace and he was in the grassy fence area. Well, now he had a sword. Time to test it out. He started by cutting a sign. In his defense, the sign said it was meant to be used as practice.

It really was a nice blade. Next he tested it on some of the taller clumps of grass.

 **Ching!**

 _Huh?_

When Dipper cut the grass, a green (1) rupee fell out of it. He tried it again.

 **Ching!**

The same thing happened. Another green rupee. Ŕ38.

He only needed two more rupees and then he could afford the shield!

He cut another sprig and got another green rupee ( **Ching!** Ŕ39). Just one more…

He cut a final grassy patch, but this time the **Ching!** was a little higher-pitched. In place of the grass stood a blue rupee (5).

 _Hah! Yes! Ŕ44! I've got more than enough for the shield!_

Dipper scooped up the blue gem and raced down to the general store. The purchase was simple enough. One Deku shield. Bought. Prepped. Equipped.

Robbie couldn't complain now. Dipper ran back to the path with Mabel floating along behind him.

"Hey! I said you couldn't pass without- is that a Deku shield? Psh! You still need a-"

 **Shring!**

"-sword… Is that the Kokiri sword?! Good grief! Well, even with all that stuff, you're still just a kid. I, the Great Robbie, will never think you're cool." Under his breath, he added, "How did you get to be the favourite of Wendy and the great Deku Trembley?"

Robbie stepped aside in a huff. Dipper couldn't help the smug smile as he ran down the path to-

 **Vrup! Clack-clack-clack-clack-clack!**

Suddenly, these weird plants burst up from the ground and started swaying on their stems like flails.

 _Whoa! What are these?!_

"Deku Babas. Nothing to worry about, just cut their stems with your sword. The heads fall off easily."

Dipper took her advice and aimed a cut at the base of the nearest one. Slice! The head really did fall off. The stem itself dried up and hardened into a stick.

 _Huh, this stick is longer than my sword. Maybe it'll be useful later._

Dipper put the stick in his rucksack and dispensed of the other Babas. Then he ran on ahead.

* * *

The Great Deku Trembley was a huge tree. The biggest in Hyrule. He towered over all the surrounding area. His existence was a marvel, his presence a humbleness. And he had a handlebar moustache.

"Great Deku Trembley! I'm baaaack!"

"Ah, Ma'be, thou hast returned. Dipper, welcome. Listen carefully to what I, the Great Deku Trembley am about to tell thee. Thy slumber these past moons must have been restless and full of nightmares. As the servants of evil gain strength, a vile climate pervades the land and causes nightmares to those sensitive to it… Verily, thou hast felt it. Dipper, the time has come to test thy courage. I have been cursed. I need thee to break the curse with thy wisdom and courage. Dost thou have the courage enough to undertake this task?"

Dipper swallowed a lump, but nodded anyway.

The ground trembled. Dipper staggered, off balance, as the mouth of the Great Deku Trembley opened wide to reveal a gaping hole.

"Then enter, brave Dipper, and thou too, Ma'be. Thou must aid Dipper. And Dipper, when Ma'be speaks, listen well to her words of wisdom…"

Beside him, Mabel was flying in circles, apparently trying to pick a speck off of one of her wings. Around and around and around she went, until she grew dizzy, and fluttered onto his shoulder with a flop.

 _Words of wisdom. Riiiiight._

Face set in determination to break the old tree's curse, Dipper stood up straight, adjusted his green cap, and walked into the mysterious depths of the Great Deku Trembley.

* * *

*Unless you're a hummingbird, which don't exist for the purposes of this story.

*So, Microsoft Word 2007 has Russian, Greek, Hebrew, Arabic, and Latin, but doesn't have Hindu/Indian symbols. Rupees are the national currency of India, but since I don't have their currency symbol, you guys are getting Latin capital R with accent instead.

* * *

Voilà! There is chapter one. It probably seems like a lot of exposition, and maybe a bit wordy? I don't know. Tell me what you guys think. Read, review, constructively criticize, whatever. And tell me if you guys want Dipper to talk. I hope I conveyed his feelings well enough through thoughts and gestures, but not much beats a good conversation. I hope you enjoyed this!


	3. Chapter 2

Chapter 2: The First Quest

A/N: So... I haven't gotten any reviews telling me this style of writing is sub-par in any way, (technically I haven't gotten any reviews yet, but who's counting) So I'm just going to keep going. But please do tell me if any of you still reading this are having difficulty understanding or following along with the story. With that aside, enjoy!

* * *

The inside of the tree was illuminated by some unknown light source. While mysterious, this was appreciated- Dipper didn't want to go stumbling around in the dark with monsters.

…And speaking of monsters. The flailing Deku Babas outside must have had more aggressive cousins. The Deku Babas inside the tree sprouted and lunged at Dipper. It was a good thing for the Kokiri sword, or he'd be plant food by now. When these plants were defeated they gave him these weird… nuts? They were too big to be seeds. Whatever. Could be useful. Dipper put the spoils in his rucksack.

There was a huge hole in the middle of the floor, but the hole was covered by a large web. It was bizarre. If Dipper stepped on it, it rebounded like elastic.

 _Huh. Springy._

Dipper wandered around the web-covered hole until he found a ladder to a higher level. He was able to walk along a path seemingly carved out of the tree itself. It led up and around, in a sort of spiral fashion. There were a few gaps, but they were easily spanned by a good jump.

Up ahead there was a chest. Just… lying there. And up above the chest…

 _Whoa…_

There was a wall covered in vines. Climbable, but something had beat him to it. Large spider-like things had claimed the wall as their own. They seemed docile as long as he stayed away from the wall, but he wouldn't dare climb it with them crouching as sentries.

Dipper moved toward the chest. The Spiders made no attempt on his life, so he opened it. It was a big chest, so once again he had to climb over the side to reach what was in the bottom. Out he pulled… a map! It showed him all of the rooms inside the tree, but there was no legend. He knew where to go, but not what awaited him.

 _Okay. This will help me get around._

According to the map, there was a room up ahead. Dipper continued along the path, right up to it.

There was no door handle.

"Just walk up to it. It'll open for you." Mabel advised.

Dipper gave her a skeptical look, but obeyed.

 **Shwick shwick!**

Sure enough- the door opened, Dipper walked through, and it closed again with a **whumph!**

But then there was a **shing!** And suddenly, there were bars covering the door! He was locked in here with… a scrub?

 **Rustle rustle. Pop.**

The scrub moved! It popped up and, with an angry face, started spitting nuts at him! Dipper crouched and put his hands over his head in protection, but the nuts still hurt when they hit him.

"What are you doing?! Use your shield, Dipstick!"

 _Oh. Duh…_

Dipper raised his shield, and the nuts bounced back at the offending scrub.

 _Hah! Have a taste of your own medicine!_

When the first nut hit it, the scrub squeaked in pain and jumped. It started scuttling away from him. Dipper ran up to it, sword drawn, but before he could deliver a blow, it started talking to him.

"Ow-ow-ow! Forgive me, master! Please, spare me! I'll give you some advice, yes?"

Dipper hesitated. He nodded.

"When jumping from a high cliff, roll forward and you won't get hurt from the fall! It's displacement of energy, or something. But if the cliff is really _really_ high, it may still hurt you. Be brave! Wah ha!" And with that, the scrub stumped off. The doors unlocked, and Dipper went to the next room.

The next room was interesting. There was a pit in the middle of the room, and on the far end, a ledge with a large chest on it. Spanning the gap of the pit was a large, floating slab. It seemed suspicious. The ledge had climbable vines on it, so Dipper dropped into the pit from his side, walked across the bottom (avoiding a big, square shadow) and climbed up to the chest on the other side.

Another large chest, another awkward straddle-like reach for the prize: a slingshot.

"A _fairy_ slingshot!" Mabel corrected.

 _Whatever. What use will this be?_

Included with it was a small pouch of those nuts. No… These were smaller. Seeds? Sure. What difference does it make? At least he could shoot stuff now. A sword is nice, but it has no range. Now he could hit targets far away!

Dipper looked around for something to practice on. There were webs on the ceiling- big surprise- but Dipper could see something poking out of it- it looked like an "H" made of wood. Dipper took aim just above it, and shot. There was a little quiver, and then a whole ladder dropped out of the web! It hit the ground near the entrance to the pit, teetered for a second, then fell back to the side with the door leading out.

This prompted Dipper to examine the wall he dropped from to get into the pit- aside from the ladder, nothing looked climbable.

 _Huh. Without that ladder, I could have been trapped in here. Well… I guess I could always…_

"What are you doing?" Mabel asked.

Dipper jumped onto the floating slab, which trembled and fell out of the air. Dipper's reflexes, such as they were, barely enabled him to jump to the other side carefully. Panting, Dipper thought:

 _Y-yeah. Should have used the ladder._ "Phew!"

"You know how some people mistake bravery and stupidity?" Mabel asked.

Dipper nodded.

"I never understood how people could mix up those two traits until now. You doofus!"

Dipper didn't disagree. He and Mabel left the room.

Back in the main structure, Dipper decided to try tackling that climbable wall. With the fairy slingshot, he could safely pick those spider-like things off the wall. He took aim at the first one, and Mabel told him:

"Ew. Those are skulltulas. Some say they're just regular spiders who grow up living in human skulls. I just think they're creepy." Mabel informed. "KILL THEM ALL!" she added, most triumphantly.

Dipper released. The skulltula made a screeching sound, fell to the ground, and burst into flame. Dipper made a mental note not to stand underneath them when firing. Those other skulltulas were similarly dealt with. The wall now clear, Dipper started climbing. It took a couple minutes, but he finally reached the top. There were more webs up here. A whole column of them, with just a few open spaces. Dipper, curious boy as he is, wondered why the skulltulas would leave an empty space in their webs. He walked up to one…

…And was nearly crushed by a Big skulltula! He reacted just as the huge spider pounced, and was able to roll away a safe distance. He stood up to face the beast, and it turned around, perhaps not willing to chase its prey. Dipper saw that it had a soft underbelly that wasn't covered by a skull. He took this chance, and struck!

The beast screeched bloody murder. It fell out of its hole, and burst into flame. With the Spider gone, Dipper took a closer look at the hole. It went straight down through the center of the tree. Dipper could see the hole in the floor with the web covering it.

He moved on, looking for another likely door. The next (and only) door wasn't far from the hole. He entered, and was locked in again. Oh well.

This new room looked pretty basic. On this side of the room there were two torches- one lit, the other not- and a peg sticking up from the floor. Then there was a large open pit, with three discoloured patches on the floor of it. Across the room was a ledge with another large chest, and what looked like a Deku Baba off to the side. But there seemed to be another ledge on the left side of the room. There seemed to be another skulltula on the wall up there. Dipper could just make out a golden glint on its shuffling body…

Wait. Golden?

Dipper wanted to get a closer look, but how could he get to that ledge? The pit was shallower on this end (or maybe his ledge was just lower?) than by the other ledges. Hm… Dipper stared at the strange peg, contemplatively.

 _I wonder…_

Dipper walked up to the peg and touched it experimentally with his foot. It felt soft, or rather, it moved under his weight. Dipper stepped on it.

 **Click.**

The off-colour patches on the pit floor started rising into platforms from the ground! Dipper watched for a second, before his ears registered a ticking sound…

 _Ticking? Time… counting down? A timer? Oh._

Sudden realization hit Dipper like a lead brick to the stomach. He scrambled to get a running start, jumped, and landed on the first of the risen platforms. Another jump got him on the second platform. He was mid-jump when the ticking stopped. He flopped on the third platform- no longer where he expected it to be thanks to the sudden sinking. With one last jump he was able to grab the edge of the ledge with the chest. The platforms sank back into patches on the floor as Dipper hauled himself over the lip onto the ledge. Dipper lay spread-eagled, trying to catch his breath.

Across the room, there was a **click!** as the peg popped up out of the ground. Dipper turned his head and looked at it.

 _... I could have just tried again…_ "Uuuugh!" he groaned.

Dipper lay for a couple seconds longer, then got up and checked the big chest. This time, he pulled a compass out of the box. The needle was pointing back the way he came, and… down, a little? Huh.

Dipper turned and dropped down into the pit. There were vines to climb up on the entry ledge, which Dipper took advantage of. Once back where he started, he considered the locked door, and the torches.

 _Maybe if they're both lit… But, how?_

The torches were both taller than he was. The only way he could reach them was with the stick he found earlier…

 _Hey!_

Dipper pulled out the Deku stick, lit the far end, then carried the flame to the unlit torch. It sparked as soon as the lighted end came near it, and the door unlocked. Dipper smiled triumphantly and blew out the fire on the stick (just in case).

Before he could leave though, the extra light from the second torch flame put a double glint on the wall. Dipper turned around and saw where it was coming from: the gold skulltula. In his haste to get to the chest, he'd forgotten all about it. He stepped on the peg again to make the platforms rise, then jumped over to the side ledge.

It was strange. It didn't seem aggressive at all- it just shuffled around on the spot. Dipper looked to Mabel for some sign of what to do.

"Well? It's a skulltula, isn't it? Kill them all!" she shouted again.

Dipper shrugged. Then he pulled out his sword and stuck the thing once- twice. It warbled, spun around, incinerated itself, but there was something left behind- a gold coin, hovering where the skulltula had been.

Dipper plucked it from the spot and turned it over in his hand. It was pretty. It was gold. Dipper pocketed it. Then he left the room.

Once in the main structure again, Dipper checked the new compass. It pointed to the center of the cob-web column. Dipper thought that was strange, so he walked all around. There were three gaping holes, but nothing in them except for big skulltulas. Eventually he just got back around to the hole where he cut down the first skulltula.

"Weird… No other doors. I wonder where we go next." Mabel said.

Dipper looked through the hole again. Once again, he spied the web-covered hole at the bottom of the tree. He checked the compass: towards the center, and down- straight to the hole. Dipper was coming to an uncomfortable conclusion…

The scrub had told him about rolling after jumping from great heights to reduce damage. Was this the reason? Did he have to jump? Would the web catch him? Would he break through? What awaited him at the bottom of the hole? Hopefully not a pit of poisoned spikes…

Dipper took a few large steps back, and a deep breath.

"Dipper? What are you thinking?"

He put the sword and shield away and shook out his arms. Another deep breath.

"You'd better not be trying something brave or stupid." Mabel warned.

Dipper shut his eyes and concentrated to psych himself up. One more deep breath.

 _Well, here goes nothing._

Dipper's eyes snapped open.

"Dipper?"

He sprinted the small distance to the Skulltula hole, and jumped…

…And fell.

"Waaaah!"

"You idiot!"

Dipper flailed his arms as he hit the web dead center, broke through, and kept falling. He shut his eyes in fear of what he might see below him, but curiosity won out. The wind rushing past him stung as he cracked an eye open just a little, to see what gravity was so eager to introduce him to. To his relief, there was a pool of water. How deep it was, however, was anyone's guess.

Dipper hit the water with a **splash!** He felt his nose brush against the bottom of the pool…

…Before buoyancy accepted him with loving arms.

 _Oh boy… That was close_

Dipper surfaced, gasping for breath and from exhilaration. He shook his head to get water out of his hair and off of his face. When he looked around he saw he was in some sort of sub-chamber. There was a shallow ledge under the water he was able to stand on to get a better view. There were a couple ledges that he could climb or jump to, some more torches (unlit), two more gold skulltulas: one on some sort of bars, and another on a wall covered with vines that seemed to lead all the way up to the entrance.

Mabel flew down as he was tracing the vines all the way up to the hole's opening.

"Are all boys your age this stupid?!"

Dipper turned to her, then looked away to consider this.

He shrugged.

"UGH!"

Dipper climbed up on the closest ledge. There was a switch. He stepped on it. A torch flared into life and incinerated a web he didn't bother to register before. Dipper stepped toward the torch and off of the switch. The torch stayed lit. Dipper looked around, more closely this time, and saw that the lower ledge had a web covering a door at the far end.

Dipper took out his trusty stick, lit it, and then, with a running start, jumped off the high ledge to the low ledge, and hurried to burn the web with his flaming stick. Once the way forward was clear, Dipper looked back at the gold skulltulas.

With a few shots from his fairy slingshot, they were both taken care of. Dipper waded back into the water and climbed the vines to get one of the golden tokens left behind. Then he dropped from the vines and landed on the high ledge. From the high ledge he was able to jump and snatch the token hovering in front of the bars and land back in the water. Then he went to the door on the low ledge, and forward.

This next room had another door (locked) with some strange eye above it, and another scrub in it. When the scrub popped up and shot a nut at him, Dipper raised his shield to send the nut back. The scrub squeaked in pain and started dancing away. Dipper ran up to it.

"Ow-ow-ow! I'm sorry, I'm sorry! Let me go and I'll tell you how to get to our queen!"

 _Queen? Could she be the one who cursed this tree?_ Dipper nodded.

"2… 3… 1… That is the order you need to access the queen's chambers. I'm sorry queenie!"

And with that, the scrub scuttled away.

 _2, 3, 1? What kind of code is that?!_

Dipper looked around, but the other door was still locked. Dipper looked closely at the eye.

"Eugh! That eye is creepy! Watching us all the time. Shoot it out!" Mabel ordered.

Well, it was as likely an option as any. Dipper shot the eye with his slingshot. The eye closed and the door unlocked.

"Hey! It worked!"

The next room was odd, even for this dungeon-esque tree. There was a large pool of water with a barge floating back-and-forth across it to the other side. Spanning the width of the room was a rotating pole with spikes jutting out from it*.

Dipper wanted to get to the other side, but how? Upon close inspection, Dipper saw one of those odd pegs below the surface of the water.

"Dive in there and press that switch." Mabel suggested. "The water level should dip just enough to fit under that thorny rotisserie spit."

Dipper wasn't looking forward to another soaking, but if he wanted to progress, there wasn't much of an option. He took a breath, and dove in.

It wasn't a deep pool- only 5 or 6 feet. But it was something, trying to orientate himself under the water so he could feel around for the peg. Once his hand grazed it, he pressed down with a **click!** And he heard the rush of water emptying a large area.

He surfaced with a gasp and hauled himself up on the barge as it came his way. The barge floated slowly- but surely- under the horizontal spike-thing. Once the barge reached the other side, Dipper jumped off and walked up to a ledge that had a big Skulltula guarding it. When the thing turned around, Dipper struck a killing blow to its belly, and it disintegrated.

Where it was guarding was a groove in the floor, and at the left end of the groove was a huge block. The door to the next room was on the high ledge above him; he couldn't reach it.

"You have to use the block as a boost up," Mabel said.

Dipper went around to the other side of the block and started pushing. He went purple in the face from the effort, but he finally maneuvered it into a boosting position. He climbed up, and through the next door he went.

The next room seemed almost bland in comparison to the least. Just the locked door, and three torches. One lit, two unlit. Dipper took out his stick and lit the two dark torches from the fiery one, and the door unlocked.

In the next room there were telltale webs on the walls, some obscuring doors or tunnels, other just, there. The middle of the room only had a lit torch. As Dipper walked up to the torch, he heard a sick crackling from above. He looked up and jumped back in alarm!

Just in time too, for three strange spheres fell to the ground where he was standing. The orbs were… wriggling. Then, all of a sudden, they hatched! These revolting creatures came out and started scurrying around on two awkward legs. Once they judged themselves a good distance, they took aim with their single large centric eyes and pounced, aiming a gruesome head-spike at Dipper. It was all he could do to dodge and parry the creatures' lunges!

They continued to back up and lunge at him for a few minutes before Dipper saw their weakness; balance. As a result of having only two legs, they had sloppy landings after their lunges. Dipper exploited these imperfect landings, and struck. The beasts fell to a couple blows each, and disintegrated into fiery oblivion.

With the creatures destroyed, Dipper pulled out his Deku stick again to light the webs on fire. One revealed only a strange wall while the other revealed a small crawlspace, which he went through.

The crawlspace brought him to a ledge in… The first room he fell into? Huh. Well, that was a roundabout way of getting just a little higher than he was previously… Oh well. There was a large block to the left that he pushed down to the floor below. If he needed to get back up here, he could just climb using the fallen block.

In the center of the ledge's floor was another hole, also covered by a springy web. A burning torch down below made it obvious what he had to do. Stick lit, web burned. He looked through the hole and could see a shallow pool of water below.

"Well, at least we **know** there's water at the bottom of this hole. Get jumping, Dip-dop."

Dipper grunted in reply.

 _Here we go again…_

He jumped.

The fall wasn't quite so long this time. Dipper guessed that even the Great Deku Trembley's roots could only go so deep.

Splash!

The pool of water lapped up on a mini shore in what seemed to be an antechamber with a large, locked door opposite the pool. Dipper waded to solid ground, but as soon as he set foot out of the water, three scrubs popped up in between him and the door and started shooting seeds at him!

Dipper took cover behind his shield and started batting the seeds back at the scrubs. The left one was closest.

 **Squeak!**

 _One down._

Now the middle, **squeak!**

 _Two down._

And the one on the right.

 **Squeak!**

But something was off. These scrubs didn't scurry away from their grassy patches after they were hit. They just turned a different colour and seemed to freeze. Dipper waited, but the door seemed impassable. Then, the scrubs unfroze and started shooting again!

"Aah!"

Back up with the shield. _Why didn't that work?_ Dipper looked to Mabel for advice.

"Don't look at me, I thought those seeds paralyzed the evil plants."

 _Very helpful._ He thought back to the other scrubs he'd fought. Hadn't one of them told him something strange?

 _"_ _I'm sorry, I'm sorry! Let me go and I'll tell you how to get to our queen! 2… 3… 1… That is the order you need to access the queen's chambers. I'm sorry queenie!"_

 _2… 3… 1… 2 3 1! That's the order I hit these guys in! Wait, is that reading left-to-right? Or right-to-left? Oh well. Let's try the first order._

Dipper aimed at the middle scrub and… **Squeak!** _Two…_

Then the scrub on the right… **Squeak!** _Three…_

And finally, the left scrub. **Squeak!** _One._

It seemed to work. Two of the scrubs scurried away into nothing. Dipper ran up to the remaining scrub.

"How did you know our secret? I'm annoyed! I'll tell you how to beat the queen. In order to administer the coup de grace to Queen Darlene, strike with your sword while she's stunned. Oh Queenie… Sorry about that!" And the scrub stumped away into the darkness. The door unlocked.

"Hey, Dipper," Mabel warned, "brace yourself. I think this is it."

Dipper nodded. He took a few deep breaths, rolled his shoulders (because that's what tough guys did before fights, right?), and stepped up to the door. It opened, and he walked through. The door slammed down behind him and didn't look like it was going to open again anytime soon.

This last room was impressive. There were webs everywhere, as thick as fog. Large pillars held up the high ceiling, which was shadowy and hard to see. Dipper could hear an odd scratching sound. He looked up and…

 **Thump!**

"Well helloooo there!~"

Dipper staggered back as a giant half-spider, half-woman crashed down in front of him and started speaking in an annoying accent.

"Oh, look at you, so darling!"

Dipper looked down at himself in confusion.

"Yeah! Look at you, with your little sword and your little shield. Ain't you just a tough little guy. I could just eat you right up! So I think I will!"

Then the half-woman part pulled back her skin to reveal… A full spider!

"rrRAAA-

 _ **CURSED BEAST: PARASITIC ARACHNID, DARLENE**_

-AUGH!"

Dipper ran as Darlene finished screaming and gave chase. He hid behind a pillar and took stock ( _really should have done that first!_ ).

1\. Deku stick ( _Not big enough for a giant spider. pass_ )

2\. Slingshot ("FAIRY Slingshot!") and Deku seeds ( _Probably just make her mad. pass_ )

3\. Deku… nuts?

 _Hm… haven't used these yet. No time like the present._ Dipper steeled himself, then rolled out from behind the pillar, pulled his arm back and-

She wasn't there.

 _Uh-oh…_

Dipper swiveled his head this way and that looking for the monster parasite. She wasn't on the ground. That meant…

Darlene was crawling around on the ceiling.

 _I can't throw that high._

She stopped in the center and appeared to squat while she…

 **Splut! Splut! Splut!**

Three eggs fell to the ground and hatched into those nasty two-legged creatures from before. But thankfully, Dipper knew how to handle those. He ran up and sliced them before they could get far enough away to lunge.

"rrRAAUGH! My babies! You killed my babies!"

Enraged, Darlene dropped from the ceiling and landed in front of Dipper. Now she was close enough to hit with the nuts! Quick as a flash, Dipper took out a nut and threw it at Darlene.

 **CRACK! Bzzt!**

Darlene was paralyzed! Now was his chance! Dipper sliced. He diced. He slashed. He knew he was hurting her, but was it enough?

"Urk- Urrah!" Darlene recovered! Dipper raised his shield at the last second before she lashed out!

When the blows stopped hitting the shield, Dipper looked around. Darlene was halfway up the nearest pillar and still climbing. Dipper thought back to the skulltulas on the ivy wall. The slingshot seeds hit them easily enough…

It was worth a shot. Literally. Dipper took out the fairy slingshot, loaded a seed, took aim, and fired.

"Ack!" **Bzzt!** It worked! Darlene fell to the floor, paralyzed, again. Dipper ran. When he was about eight feet away, he jumped. In the next second he positioned his sword downward, raised it over his head, and with a heroic yell, drove the blade into her abdomen for the finishing blow.

Darlene screeched as green blood spurted from her wound. Dipper pulled the blade out and jumped off her as she started glowing. He had to shield his eyes as she got brighter. Then, with a brilliant flash, she burst into flame and dissolved with a last ear-splitting shriek.

"RRRReeeEEAAaaaaarrRRRGGHHH!"

Then silence.

Dipper attention was drawn to a glowing in the middle of the chamber. A blue circle of light had formed amongst the webs on the ground. Dipper looked to Mabel for what to do next.

"You did it! You won! That blue light is a warp pad. Step on it and let's get out of this creepy web."

Dipper walked over to the light pad. He put one foot in tentatively, then stepped in with his other foot. Some ethereal force started pulling him up, he was floating off the ground! Up… up… up… into the light…

* * *

*It looked like that cylinder you see in the workings of old music boxes, you know, the ones that prick the tines of itty-bitty steel piano keys to make a tinkly little tune? Some of those music boxes can have a very eerie tune.

* * *

...And here's part two. It probably seems really detail-oriented. If you've played the game, I'm hoping you can sympathize a bit better. If not, try to hang on for the Gravity Falls personalities, I guess. Anyways, leave a review, follow, favourite, do whatever makes you happy. Thanks for continuing on!


	4. Chapter 3

The Cost of Adventure

Dipper floated down in front of the Great Deku Trembley.

"Well done, Dipper. Thou has verily demonstrated thy courage. I knew that thou wouldst be able to carry out my wishes. Now I have a story to tell thee. Wouldst thou listen?"

"Sure."

"Hey, you _can_ talk!" Mabel exclaimed.

"Well, yeah."

"E-excuse me."

"Why haven't you said anything until now?"

Dipper grunted in an uncertain fashion.

"I don't know. Just didn't feel like it."

"I, uh, I have something to say."

"What d'ya mean you didn't _feel_ like it?"

"I don't know. I just didn't. Why is this a big deal?"

"Do you know how hard it is to work in a vacuum? Your silence sucking the fun out of adventuring? I need verbal recognition!"

"Well so~orry if I forget to speak from time to time. I'm more the analytical type. I do a lot of thinking, you know?"

 **"** **SILENCE."** Rumbled the Great Deku Trembley.

"Eep!"

"Now, listen carefully. A wicked man of the desert cast this dreadful curse upon me."

* * *

An image formed in Dipper's mind, an image of a sinister man clothed in black and yellow, wearing an eye-patch, riding through fire on a demonic horse.

"This man ceaselessly uses his vile, sourcerous powers in search for the Sacred Realm that is connected to Hyrule. For it is in that Sacred Realm that one will find the Divine relic, the Triforce, which contains the essence of the gods.

"Before time began, before life and spirits existed… Three golden gods descended upon the chaos that was Hyrule… Time Baby, the god of power, Love God, the god of wisdom (and love!), Multi-Bear, the god of courage… Time Baby, with his paracosmic power, he created the land and fertilized the brown earth. Love God, poured his wisdom (and love!) onto the earth and gave the spirit of law; what can and can't, should and shouldn't be done, to the world. Multi-Bear, with his rich Soul*, produced all life forms, mundane and strange, who would uphold the law.

"The three gods, their labours completed, departed for the heavens. And golden sacred triangles remained at the point where the gods left the world. Since then, the sacred triangles have become the basis of our world's providence. And, the resting place of the triangles has become the Sacred Realm.

* * *

"Thou must never allow the man in black and yellow armour to lay his hands on the sacred triforce. Thou must never suffer that man, with his evil heart, to enter the Sacred Realm of legend. That evil man who cast the death curse on me and sapped my power. Because of that curse, my end is nigh. Though your valiant efforts were successful, I was doomed before you started. Yes, I will pass away soon. But do not grieve for me. I have been able to tell you of these important matters. This is Hyrule's final hope. Dipper, go now to Hyrule Castle. There thou wilt surely meet the princess of of Destiny. Take this book with thee, the stone that man wanted so much that he cast the curse upon me."

A green light shone from above and enveloped Dipper. He looked up to see a journal floating down to him. He reached up, and clutched the book with both hands. It was red. Sort of a burgundy-ish? With a golden triangle on it. And inscribed on the triangle, an emerald green number three.

" _Whoa_ …"

Dipper gazed upon it with reverence. So transfixed was he that he gave a start when the Great Deku Trembley started speaking again.

"The future depends upon thee, Dipper. Thou art courageous. Ma'be the fairy, help Dipper to carry out my will. I entreat thee… Ma'be… Good-bye…"

The Great Deku Trembley's leaves started to wilt and turn brown. His bark turned a sickly grey colour. The was a great crackling sound, as if the tree's essence was going being crushed underfoot by a particularly lovely autumn maple leaf. Then, as the last crackling echoes died away, the was silence in the forest. The Great Deku Trembley died.

"L-let's go t-to Hyrule castle, Dipper!"

"Yeah." Dipper nodded and started heading back.

Mabel looked back one last time.

"Good-bye… Great Deku Trembley…"

Then she zipped off after Dipper.

* * *

When Dipper got back to the village, Robbie was waiting for him.

"Hey, Dipper! What did you do?! The great Deku Trembley… Did he… Did he die? How could you let that happen?! Not cool, man. Not cool!"

"H-hey! I didn't-"

But Robbie had already stomped off, presumably to spread word of Dipper's incompetence.

"Don't worry, Dipper." Mabel consoled. "The Great Deku Trembley knows- knew… You tried your best. Don't let that jerk get you down. Come on, let's go to the castle."

Dipper walked through town, ignoring the glares he was getting from the other Kokiri children. Truth be told, as unbearable as it was being ignored, it was worse being despised. He was always treated differently for not having a fairy before. But now that he had one, he kinda hoped the others would come around to him.

Finally, he got to the bridge that connected Kokiri Forest to the rest of Hyrule. It didn't span any water, but rather a lower level of the forest itself. It was quite a drop, and into a tricky part of the forest as well. It was known as the Lost Woods. Dipper had heard stories about Kokiris who had gone wandering off without telling anyone, and got turned into skeletons by some arcane forces. Dipper was glad the bridge had a railing.

When Dipper was about half-way across the bridge, he heard an understanding voice behind him.

"So, you're leaving…"

Dipper whirled around. "Wendy!"

"I figured you'd leave someday. You're different from me and my friends." At Dipper's downcast look, she added, "That's a good thing, Dummy. You'd better not stop being my friend, like, ever. Okay?" Dipper smiled and nodded. "Here, take this to remember me by."

She handed Dipper an ocarina. It was small, sort of potato-shaped, with differently sized holes in it. It was also pink.

"Remember me and the forest whenever you play it, alright?"

"Oh! Uh, Y-yeah. Thanks!…" Dipper nodded, backed away slowly, then turned and ran.

"And don't forget to visit!"

* * *

The 'gate,' if you will, between Kokiri forest and Hyrule field was a large, hollowed-out log. It acted as a tunnel so that when Dipper stepped out of it, the bright sunlight from the cloudless field half-blinded him.

This was it. The farthest he'd been from home. There was an unspoken rule that the Kokiris never left the forest. It was unspoken by the Great Deku Trembley. You know, for their protection.

"This is it."

"Well, Hoo-hoo-Hoody!"

"Uwaah!" Dipper looked up in alarm to see a large, ruffled owl. With a bandage on its beak.

"Hoody, Dipper! You kno't know me, but I'm a crazy old owl who knows more'n he should! Hoo hoo HAH! It appears the time has finally come for you to start yer advent'r. Yoo'll encount'r many hardships ahead… That's yer fate. Don't get all down an' stuff!

"If you go straight this-a way," the owl pointed north with some dorsal feathers, "yoo'll see Hy-Rule Castle. Yoo'll meet a princess there. She'll have a task for ya, which no one else can pull off. Take heart, and hear this warning: be wary of th' man with one eye." To emphasize this detail, the owl shut one eye and opened the other in a comically large fashion.

"Alright then, I'll see ya around! Hoot hoot hoo!" Then the owl flapped his weathered wings, and soared off, mysteriously.

"Well, that was odd."

"Agreed."

Dipper and Mabel set off on the path leading to Hyrule castle; a travel-worn dirt trail through the field grass.

It wasn't a long journey. Hyrule Field was just that, a field. It only took about an hour to get where you needed to go. Dipper crested the last hill and could see the portcullis gates of Castle Town. It was magnificent.

There was one guard posted, but he didn't give Dipper any trouble. He probably didn't think of Dipper as much of a threat. There was a room off to the side of the gate, probably a guardhouse.

The door was ajar.

Dipper peeked in.

"Whoa."

Dipper had never seen so many jars in one place! They were everywhere! On the desk, on crates, on the floor, on window ledges. Jars everywhere! Dipper walked in to get a better look-

 **Smash! Ching!**

Dipper managed to cringe and look puzzled at the same time- not an easy feat.

There on the floor, amongst the broken shards of a clay jar, was a green rupee. Dipper picked it up. Ŕ5.

"Huh." Dipper picked up another jar to look inside, and dropped it.

 **Smash! Ching!**

"Careful, Dingus!" Mabel chided. "Ooh, money!"

A blue rupee lay amongst the shattered remains of the second jar. Ŕ10.

"This is weird _…_ " Dipper looked around while walking in further. He wasn't watching where he was walking (ordinarily a mistake, but we'll see where this goes) and bumped into a crate. On the crate were two jars, which fell off, broke, and knocked over three more jars on the ground, which shattered, and then dominoed into a wave of jars being knocked over and broken.

 **Sma-smash! Chi-ching! Sma-sma-smash! Chi-chi-ching! Sma-sma-chi-chi-sma-sma-sma-chi-chi-sma-chi-sma-chi-chi-sma-sma-chi-chi-ching!**

The resulting green and blue carnage awarded Dipper a further 33 rupees, bringing his total up to Ŕ43.

"Hey! Who's in there?!"

Dipper escaped through a window before the guard came in. As he ran into town he heard the guard exclaim in the distance "My jar collection! _Noooooo_!"

"Well, we're never going back there again!" Mabel shouted as they fled.

Dipper nodded, looked behind to make sure the guard wasn't chasing him, got distracted by Mabel shouting, and collided with a poor girl with pigtails looking the other way.

"Ouch!"

"Oof!"

"Watch where you're goi- …Hey."

Dipper shook his head of the rupees dancing around it and looked up into the wide eyes of a girl almost as cute as Wendy.

"Uh…" was all Dipper could say.

"Your clothes, they're different. You're not from around here, are you?"

"Uh, no. I'm not." Dipper shook his head.

"Oh… You're a fairy boy from the forest!" The girl stated.

"He he he, 'Fairy Boy.' That's you, Dipper." Mabel snickered.

Dipper shot her a quick glare before turning back to apologize to the girl with pigtails for bumping into her.

"That's alright, I'm fine. My name is Emma Sue.* My dad owns Oink Oink Ranch. Dad went up to the castle to deliver some lard and bacon, but he hasn't come back yet…"

Dipper promised to tell her dad she was looking for him if he saw him on his way to the castle. But before that…

"Let's have a look around town, Dipper." Mabel said.

"Yeah, okay. Maybe I can learn more about this black-and-yellow-clad man."

Dipper walked around the town's marketplace, Mabel floating over his shoulder, asking about a dark man wearing yellow and black. Some of the locals saw a man like that stride right up to the castle without stopping, escorted by women from the desert, but no one knew much about the affair. Dipper checked the shops, a bazaar, a colourful mask shop, and a couple skill game places, but the man didn't seem interested in shopping or games.

Leaving town square thoroughly investigated, Dipper decided to go to the castle. The road between the castle and the town was rather rural. Just a plain dirt path with a gate, some guards, and here and there a tree or two. At the top of one of the tree was a mysterious shape. Dipper looked closely, then staggered back in shock.

"Hoo-hoo-hoody! Hey there, Dipper! Up here! Lookit me! Are ya goin' to the castle? There's a princess up there on the inside. Be careful 'round the guards, though. You're a smart kid, I know you can get in! Hoo-hoot!"

And the owl flew off, again, as mysteriously as he appeared.

Dipper looked around. Around the corner from the gate was some ivy he could climb. It appeared as though the ledge that the ivy led up to bypassed the guards. He started climbing. Dipper crawled across the ledge so as not to be seen by the guards below.

"One, two, three, four. I declare a thumb war. Five, six, seven, eight. If you lose, please don't hate."

"One, two, three, four. I declare a thumb war. Five, six, seven, eight. If you lose, please don't hate."

"Hwatcha! Ooh! I'm gonna… Look out…"

"Aiieee! Oh yeah! Hey, watch out for… this…"

"Aw yeah!"

"Aw shucks!"

"Looks like I win again, Durling."

"How do you always win at this, Blubs?"

"Years of practice. Now come on, let's go again!"

"Okay!"

 _Wow._ Dipper thought. _I'm glad these guys are on guard duty. If they were competent, I wouldn't stand a chance._

Dipper crept right by without being spotted by either of them. He'd gotten well past the gate, and dropped down on the other side to follow a narrow dirt road up to the palace. Things were going well. The other guards were wandering around, probably on regular shifts, and created just enough gaps for Dipper to get to a second pair of gates. But before he could get much farther, someone grabbed his shoulder.

"Hey! What do you think you're doing?! You need a royal invitation to see the King!"

The guard lifted Dipper bodily off the ground ("Hey! Let me go!") and carried him to the outer gate, and threw him out. The gate guards, Blubs and Durland, looked surprised.

"And don't come back unless you're invited! And what were you two doing while this miscreant was stalking the castle grounds? You've got a lot of explaining to do, gentlemen."

Dipper would have felt sorry for the other two guards, if his butt wasn't aching from his landing on the hard ground.

Dipper got up, rubbing a sore spot, and started walking back towards town to think of a better idea.

"Are you going to the castle, Fairy Boy?"

"Wa-huh?"

Lost in thought, Dipper walked right past the pigtails girl without seeing her. _What was her name again? Gemma? Zue? Emma Sue? Oh yeah!_

"Did you find my dad?"

"No, not yet. Sorry," Dipper apologized.

"Oh well. He must have fallen asleep somewhere around the castle. Can you believe he's an adult? Ha hah! Oh yeah, since you looked anyway I'll give this to you. I've been incubating this egg very carefully."

Emma Sue handed a large egg to Dipper. It felt warm in his hands.

"It'll probably hatch soon."

Dipper wrapped the egg carefully and put it snuggly in his rucksack. Then he flashed a smile at Emma Sue and, to look like he was still doing something, went back to climb the ivy.

Once back on the ledge, Dipper got away from the edge, sat down and started to plan his route through the guards.

* * *

Mabel woke with a yawn.

"Eeyaawww… Mornin' Dipper… Dipper?"

Dipper had bags under his eyes. He was staring at some complicated diagram drawn in the dirt with a stick. Every so often, he'd mumble something.

"Dipper. Have you been up all night?"

"Yup. Planning."

"That's not good! How are you going to sneak past the guards if you can't even stay awake?"

"I'm fine. I do well with minimal sleep." Dipper waved her off and concentrated all the harder on his diagram. After a few more seconds, he stood up and dusted his hands together with a confident look on his weary face.

"O-kay."

"You know how to get past the guards?" Mabel asked. Dipper nodded. "Well, alright. Let's get moving th-"

 **Crrick. Crrack.**

A crackling sound came from Dipper's rucksack.

"Is that the egg that Emma girl gave you yesterday?"

Dipper took the egg out of the rucksack. It had a couple of small cracks in it. But nothing more happened. Dipper shrugged and put it back into his bag. He slung the bag around his shoulder, then slid down the ledge and put his plan into action.

It was simple, really. All he needed to do was duck and weave through bushes, avoiding the gaze of all the guards. And if they were looking where he needed to go, he'd throw a pebble somewhere far away, and they'd turn to see what caused the noise. Mabel was a little concerned that it took him all night to think up such a simple plan.

When he got to the second gate, he didn't walk up to it, instead opting to go around to an easily climbable ledge that dropped off on the other side. Once he was past the second gate, he was home-free. There were no guards in here. The main portcullis was darwn up, so Dipper couldn't go in the front way- it'd be too obvious, anyway. Dipper went around the side of the castle.

Up ahead was a figure lying prone on the ground with crates full of supplies all around him. Upon closer inspection, the crates appeared to be from Oink Oink Ranch.

"This must be Emma Sue's father."

Sure enough, the snoring man gave a jerk and said in his sleep, "Emma, Darlin,' five more minutes…"

Dipper tried nudging him awake with his boot, but the man seemed to be a sound sleeper.

 **C-crriick! C-c-craack!**

Dipper pulled the egg out of his rucksack again. The cracks were bigger, and there were more of them. Suddenly, the egg jiggled in Dipper hands. Mabel flew in for a closer look.

"Do you think it's gonna…?"

The egg wobbled and cracked a few more times until…

" _COCK-A-DOODLE-DOOOOO!"_

"What! Hey, who's there? Can't a guy get some sleep around here? Oh, hello, kid."

"Do you own a ranch?"

"Yeah, I'm the owner of Oink Oink Ranch. I came to deliver bacon and lard. Guess I fell asleep."

"You know, your daughter is looking for you. She asked me to find you and make sure you got her message to come home." Dipper said.

"Huh? Emma Sue was lookin' fer me? Oh no, I left mah child alone in th' city! I'm a bad parent!" Then he ran off shouting "Emma Suuuueeee! I'mma cooooomin'!"

Dipper shook his head at the retreating father in disappointment. Then he yawned and looked around.

The chicken that had come from Emma Sue's egg (fully grown, oddly enough) was watching him expectantly.

"I think it wants to come with us." Mabel remarked.

"Well, I suppose it couldn't hurt to have another little friend on this adventure."

Dipper picked up the chicken and nestled it down in his rucksack. He looked around again, looking specifically for an entrance.

There was a metal door to his right, but it was tightly locked. Nearby, an aqueduct was flowing out of one of the walls and into the castle's moat. The opening where the water was coming from looked big enough to crawl through…

Dipper pushed the crates of bacon and lard into the moat. The first one floated, but the addition of the second crate was enough to sink the first and build a closer platform to the aqueduct. Dipper climbed on top of the second crate, judged the distance with his fingers, then crouched, and leapt. He slipped on the aqueduct opening, but managed to catch himself before he fell into the water. Dipper pulled himself fully into the opening, and began to crawl.

* * *

*And exquisite music taste

*I feel I should explain this character choice. The trouble with some video games, is that they tend to be harem-esque. there are many more female characters than male characters. I had to do a bit of improvising to pick enough recurring characters to be in which roles. Malon has a rather minor role, story-wise. So she gets to be a side character from the weird tourist trap escapade episode.

 **A/N:** It's been suggested that I make Dipper talk. And, yeah. An indifferent silence doesn't transition too well from first-player RPG to crossover fanfiction. Dipper will now have speaking parts.

Also, if you have questions about any of my character choices so far, please leave a review. I probably can't change the character, but we can talk about it, and I can explain my reasoning more in-depth.


	5. My Apologies

Apologies

 **A/N:** This is just a snippet of what is to come, followed by an explanation of future events regarding this story. Please read the author's note at the bottom.

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Dipper came out into a shallow pool in a sunny courtyard. There were many guards, and many walls to hide behind.

 _This looks like a waiting game…_

Mabel was nervous, but Dipper was patient. He'd hide behind walls and peek out every so often. When the guards' backs were turned, Dipper quickly snuck past them to the next wall. He had a couple of close calls; once when he accidentally kicked a pebble that made a surprising loud sound, And again when he couldn't stop in time and plowed into a bush. But it was a good thing he was wearing green; his Kokiri tunic blended with the castle flora perfectly.

Eventually, he came to a high-walled, circular garden. It was lovely. Flowers beamed at him from all directions, butterflies flitted and fluttered hither and thither. And a young girl crouched tensely at a far window pa- a young girl?!

There was a young maiden crouching suspiciously at a window across the garden. Dipper approached cautiously. She looked fidgety, like something on the other side of the window was bothering her. Dipper craned to see around her, overestimated, and fell over.

"Ouch."

The sound caused the girl to spin around.

"Hey! Who are you? What are you doing in my family's inner garden? And- is that a fairy?

"I sure am!" said Mabel. She did a Technicolor loop-de-loop in mid air to prove it.

"You… You're from the forest, aren't you? Then… Do you know anything about the Spiritual Tome of the Forest?"

"Spiritual Tome of the-"

"No, a knave like you wouldn't be privy to such information."

"What did you call me?"

"A knave. Peasant, servant boy, whatever you prefer. Your modest garb labels you as such. Had you any importance to you, your appearance would _im_ pose, rather than _decom_ pose." The girl held her nose and waved her free hand to indicate Dipper's less-than-pleasant-odour.

Indignantly, Dipper pulled out the Journal with the emerald green three on it out of his rucksack, and showed it to the blonde girl.

"Wait, you have it?! How did you- are you a thief?"

"No! It was… bequeathed to me. Why do you care?"

"Why do I… Th- that's none of your business… What do you mean by 'bequeathed'?"

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 **A/N:** It has been made perfectly clear to me by a reviewer (you know who you are) that, while I had the idea to combine Gravity Falls and Legend of Zelda (and not even that, really. Just seeing some art and imagining what could be possible) I'm not doing anything original with this idea. So far it has been the Ocarina of Time plot with Gravity Falls characters, and that's it. No new factors or mannerisms have made themselves evident in my writing. This is not the quality of work I want to be known for. I am going to need time to make this story into something respectable. I am going on a mission trip tomorrow, but since I don't want to leave those few of you actually reading this story hanging, here is the link to the new, higher quality story:

http: (forward slashes and w's) . fanfiction . net s/12050056/1/The-Legend-of-Paz-mark-II

It's just the prelude and first chapter so far, but I will endeavor to revise what chapters I have, and repost them with improved dialogue and situations, before continuing with the rest of the story. At some point I will delete this story, but not before everyone gets a chance to at least check out the new story. I won't bother asking you to review on this story anymore. That's for the revised edition!

Also, please hope and pray for my creativity. (and safety on the mission trip!)

So, that's all, folks! Please read, enjoy, and have a good day (or night)! Smile!


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